Working parents are among the most dedicated, efficient, and resilient people on any team. They have to be. The demands of raising children while maintaining a career require extraordinary time management, prioritisation, and emotional stamina. Yet many workplaces still treat parenthood as an inconvenience rather than a reality, and managers often lack the tools or confidence to support parents effectively. The result is talented people burning out, stepping back from roles they love, or leaving altogether, not because they could not do the job, but because the environment made it unnecessarily hard.
Supporting working parents is not about lowering expectations. It is about removing unnecessary barriers so that capable people can do their best work.
Understanding the pressures
To support working parents effectively, you first need to understand the specific pressures they face. For more on this, see our guide on building trust. These are not always obvious, and they vary enormously depending on the age of children, family circumstances, and the support network available. A parent with a newborn faces very different challenges to one with school-age children, and a single parent carries a heavier load than one with a supportive partner at home.
- The mental loadParents carry a constant background layer of planning and worry that does not switch off during work hours. Appointments, school events, childcare logistics, and the unpredictable nature of children's health mean that even on a quiet day, there is always something else occupying mental space.
- Time inflexibilitySchool pickup times, nursery hours, and childcare availability create hard boundaries in the day that are non-negotiable. A meeting moved to 5pm might be trivial for one person and impossible for a parent. Understanding these constraints is essential for inclusive scheduling.
- Career anxietyMany parents worry that asking for flexibility will be perceived as a lack of commitment. This anxiety is often justified by workplace cultures that reward presenteeism over output. As a manager, recognising this fear helps you create an environment where parents feel safe to be honest about their needs.
- Guilt on both sidesWorking parents frequently feel guilty for not being present enough at home and not being available enough at work. This dual guilt is exhausting and rarely spoken about openly. Acknowledging that this tension exists, without trying to fix it, can be surprisingly powerful.
Flexible practices that work
Flexibility is the single most impactful thing a manager can offer working parents, but it needs to be genuine and practical rather than performative. The catchupsin Manager Toolkit supports this. Saying "we are flexible" while expecting everyone to be online from nine to six defeats the purpose. Real flexibility means designing work patterns that accommodate different lives without penalising those who use them. It also means applying flexibility fairly, so that parents are not the only ones who benefit and non-parents do not feel resentful.
Core hours model
Everyone overlaps during core hours. The rest of the day adapts to each person's life.
- Core hours modelAgree on a set of core hours when everyone is available for meetings and collaboration, and let people manage the rest of their day as it suits them. This gives parents the ability to do school runs or handle appointments without needing to ask permission each time.
- Output over presenceJudge people by what they deliver, not when or where they deliver it. A parent who logs off at 3pm for pickup and finishes work after bedtime is producing the same output as someone who works straight through. Make sure your team knows this is genuinely how you measure performance.
- Meeting-free windowsProtect certain blocks of the day from meetings. This gives everyone, not just parents, uninterrupted time to focus. For parents, it also reduces the stress of a calendar packed wall-to-wall with commitments that leave no room for the unexpected.
- Async by defaultWherever possible, default to asynchronous communication. Written updates, recorded walkthroughs, and shared documents allow people to engage on their own schedule. This reduces the pressure to be available at every moment and makes flexibility sustainable.
- Emergency cover plansChildren get ill, childcare falls through, and school closures happen with little warning. Having a lightweight plan for who covers what during unexpected absences reduces stress for the parent and disruption for the team.
Having supportive conversations
Many managers avoid talking about family commitments because they worry about overstepping or saying the wrong thing. But silence can be just as harmful as the wrong words, because it signals that parenthood is something to be hidden rather than acknowledged. Our article on managing parental leave cover explores this further. The most supportive managers create space for honest conversations about how work and family life interact, without making assumptions or offering unsolicited advice.
- Ask, do not assumeEvery parent's situation is different. Rather than guessing what someone needs, ask them directly. A simple "how can I best support you right now?" opens the door without making assumptions about their circumstances or preferences.
- Normalise the topicWhen parents see their manager openly acknowledging family commitments, whether their own or others', it creates permission for the whole team to do the same. Mention that you are stepping out for a family commitment. It sets the tone that life outside work is normal and expected.
- Check in after transitionsReturning from parental leave, starting a new childcare arrangement, or a child starting school are all significant transitions. Check in with your team member during these periods, not to monitor their output, but to understand if they need any temporary adjustments.
- Protect career conversationsDo not let parenthood drop someone off the radar for promotions, stretch assignments, or development opportunities. Proactively discuss career ambitions in catchups and make sure parents know they are still being considered for growth, unless they tell you otherwise.
Building a parent-friendly culture
Individual accommodations matter, but they are not enough on their own. If the broader culture still rewards long hours and constant availability, parents will continue to feel like they are swimming against the current. Building a genuinely parent-friendly culture requires changes at the team level that benefit everyone, not just those with children. The best cultures are ones where sustainable working is the norm, not the exception granted to a select few.
What to measure
When you measure outcomes, flexible working stops being a perk and becomes the default.
- Model boundaries yourselfIf you send emails at 10pm and never take leave, your team will feel pressure to do the same regardless of what you say. Model the behaviour you want to see. Leave on time, take your holidays, and be open about your own boundaries.
- Challenge the hours cultureIf your organisation rewards people for being the last to leave the office, push back on it. Advocate for performance-based recognition rather than attendance-based recognition. This benefits parents, but it also benefits everyone who has a life outside work.
- Create inclusive social eventsTeam socials that always happen in the evening or involve late nights exclude parents who have childcare commitments. Mix up the timing and format so that everyone can participate. A team lunch or afternoon activity is just as valuable for bonding as an after-work drinks session.
- Share the load fairlyBe mindful of how on-call duties, late meetings, and travel are distributed across the team. If the same people always get the family-friendly slots while others cover the unsociable hours, resentment builds. Rotate fairly and acknowledge when someone takes on an extra burden.
- Speak up for policy changesIf your organisation's parental leave, flexible working, or childcare support policies are inadequate, use your position as a manager to advocate for improvements. Real cultural change often starts with managers who are willing to raise these issues with senior leadership.
Frequently asked questions
Have meaningful conversations with every team member
Use structured catchups to check in on workload, wellbeing, and career goals so no one falls through the cracks.