Most managers wait for the exit interview to find out why someone left. By then the decision has been made, the notice has been handed in, and the conversation is a courtesy rather than a catalyst. The stay interview inverts that logic entirely. It is a structured, one-to-one conversation with a current employee - someone you want to keep - designed to understand what is working, what is not, and what would make them more likely to stay. Not next year. Now. Done well, it is the most direct retention tool a manager has, and almost nobody uses it consistently.
An exit interview tells you why someone left. A stay interview gives you the chance to stop them leaving in the first place. The timing is everything.
What a stay interview is and is not
A stay interview is a dedicated, recurring conversation focused specifically on understanding what keeps someone engaged and what risks might push them to look elsewhere. It is not a performance review - you are not assessing output or setting targets. It is not a standard one-to-one, which tends to cover blockers, work-in-progress, and whatever is most pressing that week. And it is not a vague "how are you getting on?" check-in that feels good but generates nothing actionable.
The stay interview is a dedicated space where you ask deliberate questions about motivation, growth, relationships, and risk - and then actually listen. The value comes not from the format but from the intent: you are treating retention as something that requires proactive attention, not just a lucky outcome.
Regular 1-1
Stay interview
Exit interview
The best managers run stay interviews before any warning signs appear. If you only do them when someone seems disengaged, you are already behind. The goal is to make stay interviews a routine part of how you manage - a habit that keeps you connected to what your team actually needs, rather than a crisis response.
When to run them
Most teams do stay interviews quarterly or twice a year. Quarterly is better if you have the bandwidth, because it keeps the conversation timely and means you are hearing about issues before they become decisions. Every six months still works and is far better than never. The key is to make them recurring rather than occasional - a one-off stay interview is useful but a consistent cadence is what builds trust and generates comparable data over time.
There are also moments when a stay interview is worth doing outside your normal schedule. After a significant org change or restructure. After a difficult project. When someone has declined a promotion, turned down an internal move, or shown signs of disengagement. These are signals worth investigating deliberately, and a stay interview gives you a structured way to do that without making the conversation feel loaded or accusatory.
- On a regular cadenceQuarterly or twice yearly works for most teams. Schedule stay interviews as recurring events so they never get deprioritised. Treat them with the same weight as a performance review.
- After major changesOrg restructures, new leadership, team mergers, and changes to ways of working all shift the conditions that affect whether someone stays. Run a stay interview in the weeks that follow to surface early concerns. See our guide on leading through change for more context.
- When you notice disengagementIf someone is quieter in meetings, less energised about their work, or seems to be going through the motions, a stay interview creates space to explore what is going on before it reaches a resignation.
- With your highest performersYour best people have options. They are the ones you can least afford to lose and the ones most likely to be approached by other organisations. Stay interviews with top performers are a direct investment in the people who carry the most.
The best stay interview questions
You do not need to ask every question in one session. Pick five to eight that feel most relevant to the person and the moment. The goal is a genuine conversation, not a survey. Leave room to follow up on anything interesting rather than racing through a list. You can keep notes afterwards - and should - but in the room, be present rather than scribing.
Motivation and enjoyment
- —What has made you excited to come to work recently?
- —What part of your role are you enjoying most right now?
- —When do you feel most energised by your work?
Growth and development
- —Do you feel like you are learning and growing in this role?
- —Is there a skill you would love to develop in the next six months?
- —Do you see a career path here that genuinely excites you?
Environment and support
- —What is one thing that would make your day-to-day significantly better?
- —Do you feel your contributions are recognised and valued?
- —Is there anything in your role that feels like a poor use of your time?
Retention risk
- —Is there anything that might make you consider leaving in the next year?
- —What would need to change for this to feel like the ideal role for you?
- —If you were designing your ideal week, how different would it look from your current one?
The retention risk category is the one most managers avoid. It feels uncomfortable to ask someone directly whether they are thinking about leaving. But the discomfort is worth it. If the answer is yes, you need to know. If the answer is no, the question itself signals that you care enough to ask - which is itself a retention factor.
How to run the conversation
Set up the stay interview as a separate, protected slot rather than tacking it onto the end of a regular one-to-one. Thirty to forty-five minutes is usually enough. Tell the person in advance what it is for - something like "I want to make sure I understand what is working for you and what would make this role even better" - so they can come prepared and do not arrive wondering if it is a performance conversation. Framing matters a great deal before anyone walks through the door.
In the session itself, lead with genuine curiosity rather than a checklist. Ask a question, then listen fully. Resist the urge to explain, defend, or immediately problem-solve when something critical comes up. Your job in this conversation is to understand, not to respond. You can take a few notes afterwards, but in the room your presence signals that this matters. If you are half-listening while typing, the message is the opposite.
Stay interview - conversation flow
- Do not over-prepareHave your questions ready but hold them lightly. The best conversations follow the person, not the agenda. If they say something worth exploring, go deeper rather than moving to the next question on your list.
- Stay curious, not defensiveIf they raise something critical about you or the team, your instinct may be to explain or justify. Resist it. Say "tell me more" instead. The point is to understand their experience, not to correct it on the spot.
- Name the confidentiality boundariesBe honest about what you will share and with whom. If something they tell you would need to be escalated - a serious wellbeing concern, for example - say so upfront. Most things they share are for you to act on, not to report upwards.
- Close with a commitmentEnd every stay interview by telling them what you will do with what you have heard. Even if the answer is "I need some time to think about how to approach this", say that. A conversation with no follow-up is worse than no conversation at all.
What to do with what you hear
The stay interview only has value if it leads to action. The most common failure mode is a manager who listens well in the room and then does nothing. The person walks away feeling heard, then waits weeks for something to change. When nothing does, the conversation becomes evidence that speaking up does not matter - which is more damaging than never having asked at all.
After the session, write up the key themes while they are fresh. Separate what you can act on immediately from what needs thought or escalation. Some things will be within your direct control - a role adjustment, a project they have been wanting to work on, more regular career conversations. Others may require going to bat for someone with your own manager - budget for a course, a change to their scope, a pay review. Know which is which, and be honest about the difference.
Use Manager Toolkit's Actions feature to capture the commitments that come out of each stay interview. Assign them to yourself with a due date so they surface in your dashboard and your upcoming catchups with that person. When you follow up in your next one-to-one and can point to something that has changed, the signal to that person is powerful: you asked, they answered, and something happened. That loop of listening and acting is what builds the kind of trust that makes people choose to stay.
- Act quickly on easy winsIf someone mentioned a frustration that you can fix this week - a recurring meeting they do not need to attend, a process that wastes their time - fix it. Quick wins demonstrate responsiveness and build momentum for harder changes.
- Be honest about what you cannot changeNot every ask is within your power to deliver. If someone wants a promotion that is not yet justified, or a role that does not exist, say so directly. False hope erodes trust faster than an honest no.
- Track commitments properlyWhatever you promise to do, capture it somewhere you will see it again. An action that lives only in your memory is an action that will be forgotten. Use your action list the same way you would for any other team commitment.
- Reference it in future 1-1sBring the themes from the stay interview into your regular one-to-ones. If someone said they wanted more stretch work, check in on how that is going. It shows you were listening and that the conversation was not a one-off exercise.
- Look for patterns across the teamIf multiple people raise the same concern - unclear growth paths, too much context switching, insufficient recognition - that is an organisational issue worth addressing at a team level, not just for individuals. Stay interviews are individual conversations that generate team-level insight.
Frequently asked questions
Keep your best people close
Track the actions from every stay interview alongside your other team commitments so nothing slips through the cracks.